


Hide Yourself

by ThisColdSunset



Series: If You Were To Hide [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Karasuno Volleyball Club - Freeform, M/M, Omega Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisColdSunset/pseuds/ThisColdSunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I... I don’t want to.” he whispered.<br/>“Koushi, will you just take the damn pills already? I haven’t got all day.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Pills

**Author's Note:**

> Fan mix made by scepticspoon:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-wNJ7GUkiM&list=PLM5TqceVgKVO8m_PzdiV2XP5madUKfqo1

“C’mon, Kou-chan… Just throw them back.”

Koushi watched his mother as she tried to hand him the two little azure pills in her hand. He shook his head, not knowing how exactly he could convey to his mother exactly why he didn’t want to take the suppressants.

“I... I don’t want to.” he whispered.

“Koushi, will you just take the damn pills already? I haven’t got all day.” His mother snarled, her good temper already disappearing down the drain.

Koushi truly couldn’t help the soft whimper that escaped his mouth, and he immediately found himself cowering from his mother as she lifted her pill-free hand. The sharp smack of her palm hitting his cheek resonated in the small, neat kitchen.

“Take the damn pills, Koushi. I’m not going to ask you again.”

Still cringing away from his mother slightly, he snatched the two inconspicuous tablets from her open hand and swallowed them both dry. At a raised eyebrow from his mother, he opened his mouth to prove that he had swallowed the capsules.

She nodded curtly, and Koushi snapped his mouth shut and watched her place the bottle of suppressants on the counter as she left the kitchen, muttering something about “fucking omegas”.

He stood up on slightly shaky legs and tried to calm his breathing. Taking his breakfast dishes to the sink, he ignored the sick feeling deep in his gut and blinked away the stinging droplets of saltwater that had begun to form in the corners of his eyes.

Suppressants were extremely dangerous for omegas, especially omegas who hadn’t experienced their first heats yet. They weren’t legal in any way whatsoever because of the awful side effects that they had, which included putting omega development to halt, forcing the suppressant-taking omega to become touch-starved after not receiving the treatment that they needed, causing issues with slick production, and finally, the likelihood of having difficulties conceiving were highly likely if the omega ever took themselves off the pills.

Koushi looked down at his stomach for a moment, thinking about the tiny not-babies inside him that he was effectively destroying by taking the pills. He could feel a lump resting in his throat just where his Adam’s apple would be if he hadn’t presented as an omega, and he tried to swallow around it.

He was only twelve years old when Koushi found himself standing in his kitchen whispering “I’m sorry,” to the children he would likely never have.

*

Karasuno’s official setter and vice-captain, Sugawara Koushi, was the sweetest, most gentle person one could ever meet. People often used to whisper how he should’ve been an omega instead of a beta, as that would explain just why everyone always felt so comfortable around the kind, motherly beta.

When he heard these sorts of things about himself, Koushi would always smile and laugh it off, and sometimes he’d thank people who told him that he was as gentle as an omega.

Koushi’s partner-in-crime, captain Sawamura Daichi, found these stories most amusing, as he was the one who knew Sugawara best. Despite the fact that Suga truly was an incredibly compassionate person, he really was a beta. He didn’t really act like an omega, as omegas tended to be more… Clingy? Needy? In the very least, they needed attention and love, and not once had Suga asked for anything of the sort.

Sugawara was a model child. He paid attention to his studies to cater to his father’s need for a successful son, he learnt piano to appease his mother, he played volleyball at his best friend’s request, and he was a calm, collected beta in all aspects of his life, right down to the very last legal document.

*

Koushi couldn’t help it. He tried so hard, every day, to keep up the lie, yet each day it got more and more difficult. Each time someone told him that he should’ve been born an omega he could feel his mask slipping, and he wanted so bad to scream at them that _he was an omega_.

Whenever he saw Daichi look at the omega’s from around the school, he could feel the sensation of rage, the jealousy, rushing right through him.  He constantly found himself wishing that things were different, that Daichi knew.

He spent far too much of his time forcing himself to pull away from hugs instead of sinking into them with relief, and he continuously had to make sure that he didn’t act like a typical omega. He worked so hard to make sure that people believed his lies, and people still told him that _he should’ve been an omega_ despite all of his efforts to seem more beta-like.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Koushi glowered at the pale, blank-faced boy staring back at him.

_I don’t even know what I am anymore,_ Koushi mused. _I’m not a beta, but I’m not really an omega either, am I? I haven’t even had a heat or anything. I’m basically redundant._

Now that was a word that seemed to be able to describe exactly how Koushi felt whenever he swallowed those hated blue pills at every meal. 

Tearing his eyes away from his reflection, Koushi plastered an almost overly-happy smile onto his face, ready to greet the day with his usual cheerful disposition.

No one would have to know as long as he paid attention. Just so long as he kept smiling, maybe the world’s worries would just disappear.

_I’m in this deep,_ Koushi thought. _May as well see this all the way through._


	2. Five Years

“Hey, Suga?”

Koushi hummed in acknowledgement to the voice coming through his phone as he sat cross-legged on his bed, picking at the cracked skin on the heel of his foot.

“My parents are going to the city for the weekend to help my auntie with the new baby, right? So d’you wanna come and stay over so I don’t have to stay here by myself?”

Koushi winced at the high-pitched inflection of Daichi's sentences: They always seemed to go one octave higher whenever they spoke to each other on the phone.

“Or maybe you could come over here instead?” Koushi replied as he shifted position, opting to instead lie on his stomach in front of his laptop.

With one hand, he managed to unfold it; however he struggled to unlock the damn thing with his one, miniscule hand.

“No can do, Suga. I have to stay home and feed the cats. ‘Sides, it’d be better just us two, yeah? No adults breathing down our necks or anything.”

Koushi nodded, and then slapped a hand to his forehead as soon as he realised his stupidity. It was an embarrassing habit to have.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He returned without a great amount of interest. “But my parents don’t normally breathe down our necks.”

“Sure they don’t, Suga. They absolutely never stand outside your bedroom door listening to make sure we don’t get up to any mischief.” Daichi was chuckling on the other end.

“Shut up, Dai.”

“Why do they do that anyways? It’s not like we’re going to be rolling around like animals on your bed. You’re beta, and beta guys basically _never_ bottom.”

“Okay, Daichi, you can shut up now.” A bright red flush was already beginning at the base of Koushi’s neck.

“Unless you do? In which case, I am totally cool with it.”

Koushi could hear the alpha hinting incredibly hard on the other end, but he refused to fall for it. There was no way in hell that he would be disclosing just which first and secondary genders he leant towards.

“I take your silence as an affirmation, Suga, just so we’re clear.”

“Oh my god; just shut up before I kill you.” Koushi hissed into his phone.

“So do you prefer other betas, or are knots more your thing? Because if you prefer that sort of thing, I have a question: Wouldn’t the knot be really painful without slick? Or do you just use lube as a substitute?”

Koushi pulled the phone away from his ear to look at the phone in utmost horror. He couldn’t believe the stuff that Daichi asked him sometimes. If only he acted this way at volleyball, then he’d never have become captain.

Placing his mobile back against the side of his head, he took an audible deep breath before replying.

“Daichi, I shit you not, the police are going to find your head several countries away from your torso.”

“What about my limbs?” Daichi had a stupid grin on his face, Koushi could hear it.

“I will have satisfactorily disposed of those.”

“How so?”

“Blender. Then poured out into the sea. Make no mistake; I know how to use my kitchen utensils.”

Despite the mortification at the conversation that he had steered them away from, Koushi allowed himself a smile at the thought of the very likely disturbed look on Daichi’s face.

Daichi coughed before he resumed talking.

“So you’re coming over to mine after school on Friday, right?”

“It would certainly seem that way.” Koushi agreed, focusing on his computer screen as he went through his emails.

“Okay, cool. I’ll tell mum.” There came a dull thud from the other end, and a holler of probable pain.

“You alright there?” Koushi bit down on his lip so he wouldn’t laugh out loud.

“Yeah, yeah. Fell off my bed.” Daichi ignored Koushi’s snigger and ploughed onwards. “So, do you prefer beta guys or alpha guys?”

“Goodnight, Daichi.”

*

Koushi’s laptop screen illuminated his face as he typed away in the night, the rest of the house silent and dark.

**_Search:_ ** _is omega suppressant damage reversible_

Koushi could feel his heart in his throat as he double clicked on the first result that appeared and began reading what it had to say.

It turned out to be a link to a page of the notorious OmegaFighters website. Koushi’s face broke into the tiniest of tiny smiles at all of the omega-power quotes down the sides of the page, which included things such as _omegas belong on their two feet not their hands and knees_ and _shut up and let us speak_.

Glancing down the page, he took note of the medical references that were then downgraded to more understandable language for the less intelligent. He paused after detecting the words _permanent damage_ , and the sick feeling deep in his gut returned.

_Although almost all omegas who take suppressants will experience some sort of side effect, most issues that arise are reversible. However, experts have concluded that after several years of suppressant usage, the omega will likely experience permanent damage to their reproductive systems, amongst other things._

_“Suppressant usage is always extremely dangerous; however the length of time that the omega is taking them can determine the extent of the damage caused. After approximately four years, it is likely that the omega will be left in an irreparable state.” States Dr Alan Karlsson, leading researcher of Omega Health in Sweden._

Koushi sat in his bed, staring at his computer as if he could wish it away, panic creeping up his throat and dread resting in his lungs and not allowing him to breathe properly.

_I’ve been taking them for five years now._


	3. Crushed Resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suppressants are drugs that are used to restrain omega biological functions such as heats and slick production as well as there hormones and pheromones.  
> They also repress the omega's natural instincts to submit to alphas and betas, and to some degree affect their ability to experience sexual attraction and detect the scents of their peers.  
> If an omega were to be taken off of suppressants after a lengthy period of usage, they could potentially experience a form of insanity as they begin to register feelings, emotions and scents that they have never experienced.  
> -Dr Alan Karlsson

Koushi was going to snap. He could feel it. His cheerful mask was slipping, his heart was cracking inside him every time he even glanced at his stomach where he would’ve carried babies, and his eyes were constantly filling up like tears as if they were dams about to burst.

In actuality, Koushi felt like he himself was a dam about to spill over and crumble apart as his melancholy and loneliness grew with every second. And all the while, as his unhappiness grew in size, Koushi could also sense the rage and anger building up as well.

In a fit of cold wrath, he had gathered up every little blue pill in his house and flushed them down the toilet.

He wasn’t reparable anyway, so why on Earth should he continue taking them? They were just an inconvenience.

Just like being omega was an inconvenience.

*

Friday night practice was awful.

Koushi couldn’t concentrate at all during warm up, his eyes continuously being drawn towards Nishinoya and his spiked up, coloured hair. The omega was having a difficult time keeping his hands to himself as he climbed all over Asahi.

According to Nishinoya, he had asked the tall, gentle giant to consider him as a prospective mate; and at Asahi’s nervous questioning of ‘ _Wouldn’t you prefer an alpha instead of a beta?’_ Nishinoya had proceeded to spout off awfully romantic quotes.

According to Asahi, the omega had screamed at him from across the street where the two went in separate directions to be considered, and after Asahi had said that an alpha would be more preferable to the omega, Nishinoya had proceeded to fling his backpack across the road along with his shoes before Asahi had blushed and accepted him.

Koushi hated them and their happiness, and he was mortified as soon as the flash of rage had disappeared.

After the two had told their slightly-differing tales of Nishinoya’s proposal, the entire team had offered their congratulations; and everyone had subsequently begun to narrate their own tales of people asking to be considered.

Even Yamaguchi had mumbled out how Tsukishima had accepted him after several minutes of consistent pestering from Hinata.

“Tsukki and I were walking home, and I had forgotten my lunch at home that day, so I was super hungry and wanted something to eat before I asked Tsukki, so we went into a fast food outlet and got some chips. While we were eating, I kinda blurted out everything and asked to be considered, and Tsukki got really quiet and wouldn’t say anything. I thought he was going to reject me, but then he started pushing over all of his soggy fries because he thought they were _gross_ and he told me that I didn’t need to ask at all and I started blubbering and he told me to-“

Tsukishima cut him off with a, “Shut up, Tadashi.”

“Yeah, just like that!” Yamaguchi had turned to the blonde alpha with a grin, leaving the team wondering why on Earth the omega would ever want the rude bastard for a mate.

On the other hand, Tsukishima did seem to be rather taken with the freckled omega. Just the other day, Koushi could have sworn he saw the giant bespectacled smartass sharing his strawberry shortcake with his future mate.

The jealousy that Koushi felt continued to grow as the evening wore on. Not a single member of the volleyball club wanted to actually practice volleyball, and not a single coach, supervisor, team manager or captain of the team were inclined to put a halt to the storytelling activities. In fact, every single one of them was telling their own stories.

Ennoshita spoke about his new beta girlfriend, and Kinoshita had stammered out how he had asked his alpha friend to be his, despite the fact that he himself was an alpha. As Kinoshita described things, Narita added extra details, his arm slung around the shoulders of his mate-to-be.

“How about you, captain?” Someone had yelled out, drawing attention to the formidable teen beside Koushi.

“Ah, I’ve been asked a few times, but I’ve turned them all down. I’d rather not embarrass them by saying who, though.” Daichi announced.

“I guess you’re waiting for a certain beta to ask you, huh?” Tanaka bellowed, standing up and waving his arms in the air like a lunatic.

Nishinoya cheered him on from Asahi’s lap.

“Subtle, Tanaka. Now sit the fuck down.” Koushi found himself blurting out, causing everyone to turn and look at him like an alien. “I am so. Sorry. I don’t know what got into me.” Koushi whispered; eyes wide and hand covering his mouth.

“I knew it! I knew you could swear!” Tanaka continued yelling amidst whoops and cackles of laughter from the team.

“But in all truth, when exactly are you guys planning on making yourselves official?” Nishinoya grinned at the two.

“Sorry to disappoint you all, but I _am_ completely omega-sexual. I don’t have anything against betas, but I just prefer omegas, personally.” Daichi laughed.

Pressing his lips together, Koushi remained silent. He ignored the familiar urge to stand up and scream at them all that they were such _idiots_ and _couldn’t they see that he was omega_ despite the fact that the satisfaction of doing so would probably remove the rage that was building up inside him. The anger at the world for its complete unfairness was growing as each day passed, and it rose in temperature and ferocity with every pill that he popped into his mouth.

“How about you, then, Suga? Had any proposals? Or have you asked anyone to be considered?”

Koushi froze for a moment before looking up from his shoes.

“I don’t like people.” He said flatly, before calmly fixing his gaze on the clock hanging on the wall and beginning a mental countdown of the seconds before he could go home.

After a moment of shocked silence, the tales had continued, and Koushi’s teammates steered clear of the clearly not-okay ash blonde beta sitting beside their captain.

*

“Suga! Wait up! You’re coming home with me tonight, remember? It’s Friday!” Daichi called as he sprinted after the fast-moving beta.

“I’m not in the mood. I think I should just go home.” Was the cold reply.

Daichi almost snarled at the beta before controlling his alpha instincts. He refused to lose control of himself.

“Suga, you can’t leave me home alone! What on Earth would I do?”

Daichi could actually hear his best friend growling from in front of him before slowing down slightly so the alpha could catch up with him.

“Honestly, what’s gotten into you? Since when did you growl?” Daichi muttered to himself.

“Since I started swearing, and you’d better believe that it makes me feel so much fucking better than I am.” Koushi snarled.

Daichi couldn’t help it. He growled, low and menacing, in a warning to the beta who was currently pushing him over the line.

And with a whimper, Suga collapsed onto the ground, neck bared in total submission and eyes shut tight as tears seeped from the corners of his eyes.


	4. Awful Truths

Daichi could only watch in horror as his best friend crumpled to the ground in a shaking heap. The guilt at actually _growling_ at Suga had immediately begun to roil in his stomach, but the feeling had soon given way to absolute terror as the other boy dropped to the paved ground without warning.

Daichi immediately knelt down beside the sobbing teen, cautiously extending his arms towards Suga before gently gathering the beta’s body into them. At a soft whine from the otherwise inanimate paled ragdoll that his best friend had become, Daichi carefully observed what he held cradled in his arms and pressed to his chest.

“Suga… Are you okay?” He whispered softly, not sure of what else to say as his heart pumped painfully in his chest, panic still fresh in his veins. “I’m sorry for losing control like that. I shouldn’t have, and I am so _sorry_.”

Suga’s dazed eyes cracked open slowly, the glistening tears visible and obvious beneath Daichi’s scrutiny. His brow was creased and screwed up, and his mouth was formed in a moue of confusion.

“Sorry? For wh-” The boy had cut off his own sentence with a sharp intake of breath as wide-eyed realization dawned on him, which was quickly followed by the darkening of his face.

Daichi felt his spine tingle and the back of his neck prickle as he observed the cold emotionless look that had suddenly filled the boy’s eyes as he stood there on the paved pathway with the other gripped tightly to his chest.

With one hand, the beta pushed himself away from Daichi’s chest, and Daichi automatically released him from his arms.

“I don’t need your help.” Suga whispered as he turned away.

*

Koushi made a move to try to put some distance between himself and Daichi, however the captain was having none of it, gripping his wrist in a large, slightly calloused hand.

“Suga, are you okay? You might’ve hit your head when you fell…”

The concern was incredibly clear in his voice, yet Koushi remained submerged in his own inner rage at how unfair everything was. Truthfully, submerged was too gentle a description. Rather, it felt more like he was struggling to swim, and as he desperately tried to breathe he continuously swallowed the painful acid of wrath and anger and sadness that was dragging him down.

“I’m fine.” Koushi hissed; keeping his eyes focused on a streetlamp in front of him, bathing its surroundings in a soft, yellowed glow.

“But Suga, that kind of thing isn’t normal. People don’t just collapse like that.” Daichi was frowning at him; Koushi could hear it in the timbre of the alpha’s voice.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting you to go all alpha on me, Daichi.” Koushi snapped; panic setting in as he realised that _Daichi would find out if he kept going_.

“Suga, it _looked_ like you went all submissive on me, but it’s not normal for a beta to react that badly to just a _growl_.”

Daichi’s words felt like bullets, tearing through Koushi’s final layers of defense that he had shielded himself behind.

“No, what it looked like was you using your status against me and making me curl up like a damn slave. And I thought you strove to be a kind alpha and not act all superior.”

Koushi allowed the words to hit Daichi like stinging slaps as he turned back around to face the alpha with narrowed eyes filled with fire, swallowing any water that may have rested therein before.

“Suga. Just tell me what’s going on. That _wasn’t normal_.” Daichi pleaded.

“Stop it, Dai. I can fucking _promise_ you’re not gonna be thanking me for telling you.”

“Koushi. Please.” Daichi was talking to Koushi with an exasperated air; as if Koushi was just making things incredibly difficult for him.

Koushi’s worn out resolve, eaten away by countless days of pretending to be someone else and slipping tiny blue pills into his mouth and swallowing them, had finally shattered, and the white hot rage that had filled him to the brim burst forth like a typhoon.

With a wail of absolute rage, he swung at the alpha with as much force as he could muster. His fist connected with Daichi’s jaw with an awful cracking sound, and he could feel his throat tearing as he screamed at the other boy who had pushed him over the edge that he’d been teetering on since forever ago.

“Oh, I’m so _sorry_ for being such a fucking _inconvenience_ to you, _alpha_ ,” Koushi retorted sarcastically, “I guess that’s all I am, though. An inconvenience. An _inopportune_ , _untimely_ _embarrassment_.”

Daichi simply stared at him with wide eyes as he held his jaw, flinching as Koushi’s voice rose in volume until he was almost screaming.

“That’s all that I’ve _ever been_. Just something to be hidden away and secretly disappointed in…”

“Suga, what on Earth are you talking about?” Daichi whispered, dismay at what he was hearing creating an uncomfortable, gnawing feeling deep in his gut, and he looked fearful of what the other boy may say next.

“You’re not the first one that I have caused an inconvenience to, _alpha_.” Koushi whispered; a cruel smile stretched almost painfully across his face. “I disappointed my parents first, but they made sure to fix everything up with those little blue pills that I’ve been taking.”

Koushi watched the alpha’s reactions to his words as his mouth tugged up at the corners, and his grin widened as he watched Daichi’s eyes widen as the pieces began to slip together like puzzle pieces that were finally being placed in the correct positions.

“But you know, it doesn’t matter if I take those stupid fucking things or not anymore. They’ve done their _irreversible_ damage. They fixed up my parents little… Problem… I wonder if they’ll be proud of me now?” Koushi crooned, and one hand lifted up to his stomach absentmindedly, right where his tiny not-babies remained, despite the fact that the suppressants had likely rendered them redundant.

*

“Suga… Koushi. What did they do to you?” Daichi murmured as dread settled over him like a looming shadow, his eyes focused on where the beta was currently caressing his stomach.

And then it hit him.

“No.” Was what slipped out of Daichi’s mouth. “You’re… They… The pills? Oh my god, Koushi, they weren’t _suppressants_ were they?”

Koushi simply stood there, his eyes once again emotionless and unseeing, one hand resting on his belly while the other hung loosely at his side.

 _Suppressants_. The most heinous thing to ever have been created by researching doctors, made to be used by omegas to hide away their secondary genders so that they could live as betas, and forcing the natural instincts of an omega so deep down that they wouldn’t appear as the omega went about their daily lives.

Yet as the suppressants did these things, they halted all development of the omegas that used them, and seriously fucked up their reproductive systems while having a heavy toll on their mental health.

An omega that used suppressants would become touch-starved. They could be rendered infertile. They could even go insane as they tried to hide away their very _nature_.

_And Suga had told him that he'd presented as beta at twelve. But if he presented as omega, that meant that he’d been taking them for five years._

_Five. Years._

“Koushi, you need to go to a _doctor_. They need to try to help you.”

“Don't you dare pity me.” Suga spat at him, his cheeks a flushed red colour contrasting starkly against the sheet white pallor of the rest of his face. “I already know that the damage is irreversible.”

“But whatever the suppressants have done, it could get worse. You need to stop taking them and go to a doctor.”

“I already threw them all away, Daichi,” Suga sent a tired smile to him, breaking the stoic mask he’d been wearing, “If they’ve fucked me up, it doesn’t matter if I take them or not, right?”

Daichi’s heart stuttered and dropped to his feet.

“Oh shit, Kou. If you stop taking them after such a long time… Goddammitt you’re gonna go through withdrawals and you could _die_ without doctors nearby.” Daichi cried out, already fumbling in his pockets for his mobile phone, desperate to call for help because he could _see_ that something was wrong.

Suga had been acting off all day.

Daichi watched the other carefully as he rambled into his phone, and after he’d been told to wait with his friend he could only think about what Koushi had told him.

Once the boy began to grow paler and shiver as if with cold, he gathered Suga into his arms once again, holding him close and pretended that he could protect him from everything bad, pretended that he could make all the awful things that had happened to the poor boy disappear forever.

He wouldn’t ever be able to forgive himself for this.


	5. White Sheets

“Dai?”

Daichi tilted his head upwards to meet Koushi’s gaze.

“Yeah?” He whispered in reply, leaning forwards in order to hear the other’s soft words better.

“It hurts.” Koushi said simply, squeezing his eyes shut as another wave of sharp, stabbing pain began in deep his belly.

He gripped the pure white linen of the hospital bed sheets with pale, thin fingers so tight that he was in danger of tearing the fabric to shreds.

After what had felt like an age of doctors poking and prodding at him, plus several instances of being wheeled away to a room so that someone could perform a scan of his uterus to check the damage, he had been told by a beta nurse who kept referring to him as “poor, sweet lamb” that he wasn’t allowed any pain medication in case it delayed his body getting rid of the suppressants in his system.

“I- I’m sorry, Koushi,” Daichi murmured, “I don’t know what to do to help.”

The alpha was looking at him with a pained expression, and his arms kept twitching as if he wanted to wrap them around Koushi and never let go.

Koushi nodded before hissing and pressing his hands to his stomach, despite knowing that no amount of squeezing his stomach would speed up the suppressants leaving his body. After a moment, the slashing pain ebbed away to a faint, dull throb that could be ignored if he tried, and Koushi expelled the air from his lungs in a gush of hot air.

“Daichi? Could- Could you hold my hand, maybe?” Koushi found himself asking quietly, not entirely wanting the alpha to hear his words in case he told the omega _no_.

However, Daichi didn’t hesitate for a moment before enveloping Koushi’s much smaller hand with his own massive one.

“Thank you,” Koushi mumbled, closing his eyes and resting his head against the crisp, clean pillow behind him.

*

“Sugawara-san?” A voice called from the doorway of Suga’s room, and Daichi started at the sound.

Daichi tore his eyes away from Suga’s worn-out, curled up form in the hospital bed to instead watch the beta male standing just outside of the room.

“Ah, he’s asleep.” The beta was saying, “Perhaps you’d like to come outside for a moment so we don’t disturb him?”

Daichi made to rise out of the uncomfortably hard hospital chair that he’d spent the past forever in, but with Suga’s gentle “I’m awake,” he settled back into the chair as if he had never left.

The doctor looked at Suga in surprise before apologising and telling the teen that he had thought for sure that he’d been asleep.

Suga gave him a tight smile before assuring the young-looking doctor that he was just a good actor.

The beta laughed lightly before speaking again. “So, the blood tests came back from omegology, and the results are looking really good. The suppressants are working themselves out of your system properly, and the damage caused appears to be minimal. In fact, your body seems to be functioning quite well.”

“Really?” Suga whispered, and Daichi turned to look at him.

He looked very small, huddled up in his virgin white hospital sheets, picking at the hem. With hunched shoulders and eyes downcast and glistening, his bottom lip trembling as he bit down on it with his teeth, Daichi was abruptly compelled to climb into the hospital bed with the boy and curl around him, but he kept still in his seat and ignored the strange urge.

“It is also possible that you may go into heat at any time between a few hours or a few days after they’ve completely passed through your body, therefore we’d like you to stay here until this occurs.” The beta was telling Suga, reading off of the clipboard in his hands.

Suga’s head snapped upwards to gape at the man.

“Does… Does that mean that my… That it all works?”

“Your body is indeed trying to begin the reproductive cycle that omegas experience, however this doesn’t ensure fertility. There would have to be several more blood tests and scans to be absolutely positive.” The beta was choosing each and every one of his words carefully, yet although he was keeping a cheerful attitude, Daichi could still see the pity in his eyes.

“I understand.” Suga nodded, and his eyes followed the doctor as he disappeared out through the door.

Daichi blinked at Suga as he sat in an uncomfortably stiff demeanour, and he had to wonder just how Suga could understand and be so accepting of what was happening to him.

*

Koushi had fallen asleep at some point during the night, long after Daichi had nodded off in his stupid plastic chair by his bed. It had at first been a surprise when the hospital staff hadn’t removed Daichi from the room or asked him to leave, but the motherly beta nurse had whispered to him in a soft undertone that they would all turn a blind eye for them, seeing as Koushi shouldn’t be forced to be alone during such a frightening time.

His rest had been fitful and interrupted by horrid shooting pains in his lower belly, and it had been all he could do to not cry out. Instead, he had curled up in a tight ball, hands pressed almost protectively on top of his stomach and face distorted into a tight grimace.

At one moment, it had hurt so bad that he could feel tears running down his face before he heard himself sobbing, and he had pushed his face into his pillow to muffle the sounds so as to not wake the fatigued alpha beside him. His attempts had been in vain, he discovered, when a large hand had begun to rub his back in consolation, and soft hushing noises could be heard from behind him.

He had then spent the next few moments apologising to the alpha through moans of pain before dropping away into sleep once more.

The next time Koushi woke, it was to the first soft rays of sunlight streaming through the curtains and an odd prickling sensation that was covering his entire body, plus the feeling of being smothered by the bedding. Kicking off the sheets did little to cool him down, and the itchiness almost felt as if it had intensified.

“Koushi, are you okay? You won’t stop twitching.” Koushi heard from beside him, and he glanced over to meet the sleepy gaze of one exhausted-looking Daichi.

“I feel funny.” Koushi said simply, and Daichi stretched a he sat up straighter.

“Do you want me to get someone to check you over?” Daichi questioned, and he ignored the boy as he shook his head in the negative, “I’m going to go get someone. Stay here, alright?”

And he had left without another word, and Koushi had remained with an increasingly uncomfortable feeling right beneath his skin, where he couldn’t scratch at it.

Waiting for Daichi to come back was irritating, and he had begun to almost doze off when the door had opened again and he was joined by an anxious alpha and an omega doctor.

“Hey there, Sugawara-san. I’m Itou Yuki,” She told him with a soft smile, “How are you doing?”

“I feel odd. Like, hot and uncomfortable. And stuff.” Koushi answered as she came over with a thermometer.

“You’re temperature is definitely higher than average,” She agreed after removing the thermometer from his mouth and peering at it closely, “I’ll have to get one of the doctors from omegology to come down to take a look at you.”

“Do you know what the matter is?” Daichi asked immediately.

“Well, I can’t be too certain as I’m no expert in this field, but it may be that the suppressants have all passed through the body. If that’s the case, I’d be preparing myself for _a lot_ of needles, honey.” She said, at first speaking to them both before turning a sympathetic gaze onto Koushi.

Koushi could feel his jaw tighten at the look, even as she left the room. He didn’t want anyone’s sympathy, and he hated how everyone seemed to think that he was some helpless creature that should be pitied by everyone.


	6. Cruel Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to come out!!!  
> I've had a serious case of writer's block and only now has it really lifted, plus with exams I've had a lot on my plate!
> 
> Thank you for bearing with me and reading my work!! It is really appreciated.. If you have any suggestions or requests, feel free to comment!!!

Suga was in heat. It was the only thing that Daichi had been told before he’d been escorted away from the whining omega, who was being prepared to be whisked away to one of the hospital’s heat rooms.

“You’d best be getting yourself home,” an omega boy just out of med school had whispered to him, “No doubt your parents will be worried away to their graves about you, feisty-looking alpha you are.”

“Ah, no, they’re away for the weekend, it’s fine,” Daichi flushed and shook off the med student’s words, adamant about not leaving Suga alone in a hospital, “Can’t I just stay here?”

The trainee doctor looked at him with pity before giving a gentle reply, “Sugawara-san is currently in heat. His first ever, in fact. We can’t have an alpha with him, you might mate him, and his body is certainly incapable of handling that. Plus, he must be heat-dazed at the moment. His consent wouldn’t count for anything.”

“It’s… It’s not like that, though.” Daichi retorted stubbornly, despite acknowledging that the older did indeed make sense.

The omega looked at him in vague surprise before shrugging and waving Daichi goodbye, picking up patient records that he’d been filing away before disappearing behind swinging doors.

*

In the end, Daichi went home, however he certainly didn’t leave willingly. Just the thought of Suga being left all alone in an unfamiliar place made Daichi flinch. The omega had suffered so much already.

And yet, Daichi had still slunk out of the hospital like a guilty tomcat after a nurse had accused him of trying to sneak into Suga’s heat room when no one was looking. It wasn’t as if Daichi would _ever_ try anything of the sort… Daichi hadn’t even been aware that Suga was an omega in the first place until recently. No one had known.

_No one except Suga’s parents._

Daichi face twisted into a snarl, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He walked around the empty house, flipping lights on idly as he passed each room. Daichi already knew that he would wind up on his couch, flicking through channels every five seconds before going to the kitchen to stare at the insides of the fridge.

 _I wonder if anyone has told Suga’s parents that their son is in the hospital,_ Daichi thought to himself, _and I wonder if anyone has told them that it’s entirely their fault._

*

“That stupid fucking bitch,” she snarled, slamming the phone down onto the counter, “What the ever-loving fuck?”

Her husband stuck his head out from behind the doorway and assessed her angry face with careful eyes.

“What’s happened?” He questioned warily, knowing that his wife was prone to fits of uncontrollable rage. He well and truly did not want to end up on the receiving end of one of those ever again.

“The fucking omega went into heat. He’s in hospital, probably begging to be bred.” His wife snapped, her lip curled into a scowl of utter disgust.

“What about the suppressants? They were meant to make him beta, did something go wrong?

The woman looked up, to frown at her husband, whose voice was laced with panic. The weak man had always pitied their son, and he had even had the audacity to ask her to stop giving the omega suppressants at some stage. He had always been soft.

“They want us to go down to the hospital. They need forms to be signed. No doubt he’s going to cost us more than a fortune to get him fixed.”

She turned away from her husband, but not before noticing the way he cringed at her condescending tone, the way he looked away with shame and guilt.

*

It hurt. That was the only thing that was made clear to Koushi as each second made him clench his fingers around the sheets. He could hear his teeth grinding as he tried to hold back the whines building up in the back of his throat. He could feel sweat trickling down the back of his neck while he squeezed his eyes shut.

His insides ached with a profound longing that he had never experienced before. He curled up around his throbbing  stomach; as if he could protect himself from the pain that struck out from his insides. It felt like a battle was waging within him, and he was the battlefield being carved and sliced at by the steel weapons of cruel soldiers.

Koushi almost wished that the doctors were still stealing his blood as if it was something to be coveted, or that the nurses were still fretting over him like worried mothers.

Under normal circumstances, Koushi would have clucked his tongue with annoyance at that particular thought. His mother never worried about him. Not since the day he presented, and she thought his appendix was exploding.

After that, he was just an embarrassment. Something to be ashamed of, something to be angry at. In his mother’s eyes, Koushi was nothing but a failure. The only child she had ever had, and he had turned out to be an omega. The look in her eyes when the doctor had told her what her son had presented as had hurt more than any injury Koushi could ever receive.

Warm salt water slipped out from Koushi’s tightly shut eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain.

*

“Hello, I am Sugawara Ruka. I was told that my son had been hospitalised.”

The nurse sitting at the front desk looked up and gave a soft, kind smile.

“Of course. You must be so worried. I’ll get one of the doctors supervising his case to come see you.”


	7. Candid Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it's taken so long for this chapter to come out, but exams have finally finished over here, so I hope that I can update with more speed now!!  
> Thank you for bearing with me and waiting, but mostly thank you to everyone who's read this!!

Regardless of the fact that Karasuno’s volleyball team had a strict training regimen for each day of the week, _especially on Mondays_ , which was one of the least motivational days to ever exist, the team was in a state of complete disarray. Any hope of getting anything at all done during afternoon practice had disappeared completely down the drain early that morning, when the team had been informed that Suga had been hospitalised three days ago.

The omegas refused to practice at all, instead choosing to huddle together and berate themselves for not noticing, for not knowing what their kind vice-captain was hiding. In contrast, the betas were practicing as hard as they could; taking their rage out on each and every volleyball that resided in the gymnasium. While this occurred, the alphas were left in almost catatonic states, the absolute disgust for not protecting an innocent omega filling their guts and leaving bitter, acidic tastes in their mouths.

Even Coach Ukai had no want to drive the team members to be better, and Takeda-sensei had no idea how to properly react. The beta could only try to offer solace to the captain of the team while the blonde haired coach dwindled around the sidelines.

“I’m meant to be his best friend, and I was so fucking clueless that he had to _scream_ it at me so that I could understand.” Daichi whispered, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“It’s alright, Sawamura-san. No one knew, so it wasn’t just you.” Takeda murmured soothingly, rubbing the tall alpha’s back.

“But he’s in hospital now. I fucked up so bad that my best friend ended up in hospital.” Daichi argued, gritting his teeth.

Takeda shook his head. “But the hospital is the best place for him right now. He has all the help that he could possibly need right there so that he can make a full recovery.”

Daichi frowned.

_Could anyone ever recover from being forced to hide who you were from the entire world?_

Takeda had continued to talk, not noticing that the young alpha had zoned out, and Daichi concentrated so he could pay attention to what the older man was saying.

“-and he even has his family there to offer support and make sure that he gets better. I’m sure they must be terrified, what with their only child being put into hospital.”

The alpha stiffened as the short beta’s words washed over him, and his eyes widened in horror.

“Did you say that his parents are at the hospital with him?”

 

_“Oh, I’m so sorry for being such a fucking inconvenience to you, alpha. I guess that’s all I am, though. An inconvenience. An inopportune, untimely embarrassment. That’s all that I’ve ever been. Just something to be hidden away and secretly disappointed in… You’re not the first one that I have caused an inconvenience to, alpha. I disappointed my parents first, but they made sure to fix everything up with those little blue pills that I’ve been taking.”_

 

Suga’s words from before hit him, and Daichi’s heart stuttered for a moment, the blood draining from his face.

“Oh my god. Takeda-sensei, they _can’t_ be there. Oh shit, we need to get them away from him, _right now_.”

Panic was slowly settling down over Daichi’s shoulders. The monsters that had hurt Suga, their own son, just because he hadn’t presented the way they had wanted him to were in the hospital him. They were with the vulnerable omega, who was so defenceless that they could do _anything_ to him and get away with it.

They were with Suga, and _no one knew what they had done_. Neither Daichi nor Suga had said anything or told anyone.

“Sawamura-san, are you okay? What are you talking about?” Daichi looked downwards towards the fretting beta beside him, his face screwed up in worry.

“It’s… His parents were the ones… Shit, I’ve just gotta go, I’m sorry sensei.”

It was with these words that Sawamura Daichi, captain of the Karasuno volleyball team, departed from the gymnasium to begin sprinting towards the prefecture’s hospital.

*

Despite whatever determination the alpha had, however, he would not have actually saved any time whatsoever by running as fast as he could. In fact, it was very unlikely that he would arrive at the hospital in time before visiting hours were officially closed.

Having a certain faculty advisor collect him from the sidewalk before beginning to speed down streets did therefore end up being rather helpful, all things considered.

“Thank you, Takeda-sensei.” Daichi acknowledged; eyes wide open as he watched houses pass by in colourful blurs.

The older man nodded, refusing to tear his focus away from the rode as he floored the accelerator.

“You’re sure about what Sugawara-san said, right? I don’t want to be breaking any road laws because of a misunderstanding.”

“I’m sure, sensei. You can’t hear someone say something like that without the message getting across.” Daichi shivered, remembering the cold, robotic tone that Suga had used when he had told the alpha what had happened to him.

The car was left in silence as Daichi contemplated what his best friend had told him as his shields all broke down, leaving him bare and exposed for Daichi to see. Suga’s anger and hatred had been so stark and clear, so different from the calm, kindred spirit that Daichi was used to.

These emotions had been so cruel and violent, but at the same time, there had been so much sorrow, so much loneliness.  Daichi couldn’t help but wonder just how long he had had to suffer before he truly began to hate himself, drowning in his own sadness.

_He was so alone._

“Sensei?” Daichi turned to the beta, breaking the layer of silence that had draped itself over the two inside the vehicle.

Takeda hummed in acknowledgement, his hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel as he turned the car so sharply that both men swayed abruptly to the right.

“Suga… When he told me… When he told me what had happened, what his parents had done to him… He was saying these things… He sounded like he believed that it was actually his fault.”

Daichi watched as the older nodded his head, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“That doesn’t really surprise me, Sawamura-san,” The beta agreed softly, “Being abused in such a way, being harmed by the very people you should be able to trust… It’s not unusual to blame yourself.”

“But that’s… It’s…” Daichi stuttered; his words knotting themselves around his tongue, making the muscle feel heavy and uncoordinated.

“It’s fucked.” Takeda-sensei supplied helpfully, his voice completely natural.

Daichi couldn’t help but gawp at the glasses-wearing man beside him- Not once had he ever heard a single obscenity slip out of the other’s mouth, in fact Daichi would hardly have been shocked if the beta’s vocabulary was devoid of any and all obscenities.

And yet, he couldn’t help but agree. His teacher’s simple wording had given voice to all of Daichi’s thoughts. What had happened to Suga was undeniably _fucked_ , and his parents deserved whatever they had coming to them. Putting them into jail _forever_ seemed to be a justifiable and reasonable punishment, and Daichi was determined to make sure that that would be exactly what happened to the bastards.

*

“Thank you, Sugawara Ruka-san, for allowing us to question you. I understand that this may be very difficult for you, so please feel free to take as long as you like in answering our queries.”

The police officer, Yazane-san, was relatively young-looking, with an open and friendly expression, and an upbeat inflection at the end of each of his sentences. He’d been laughing as he told her about the hospital’s initial failure to report the incident involving Koushi, which had caused them to come question her and her husband so late.

His much firmer partner, Tsumeda-san, who was seated beside him, was moustachioed and stern-voiced. He was taller and had a much colder demeanour as he spoke, and Ruka pursed her lips slightly.

She would have to be careful if she didn’t want the dumb bitch to get her into trouble with the law. The fact that she was already being interrogated, albeit in a private room in the hospital, was enough to make her blood roil.

“I’m glad to help. I just want what’s best for my son. I want him to recover as soon as possible.” She gave a small smile at the two seated across from her.

“Yes, I’m sure you are.” Yazane smiled back at her before turning to his partner, who seemed keen on questioning her.

“Were you aware that your son was taking illegal suppressants to restrain his secondary gender of omega?” Tsumeda asked brusquely after ensuring that the recorder was switched on.

“No, I was not.” Ruka whispered, folding her hands in her lap and looking down.

“Were you aware that your son had presented as omega?” The old alpha continued; his eyes burning into Ruka’s skin.

“No, I always thought he was beta.”

The two officers were silent, glancing at each other before Yazane picked up the questioning.

“Are you aware of when your son presented?”

Ruka nodded, wetting her lips before speaking.

“I think he was twelve or thirteen years old… I’m not too sure; it seems like such a long time ago, now that he’s finishing up in high school.”

“Where was he at the time?” Tsumeda frowned as he looked at the woman.

Ruka sighed internally, yielding to the fact that she would need to make some sacrifices. Someone had to take the fall, and better _him_ than herself.

“I think… I believe he was with his father. A camping trip or something, and he came back all excited after presenting.”

“Do you understand what this implicates, Sugawara-san?” Tsumeda inquired, leaning forward.

“I don’t… I’m not sure… _Implicates_?” Ruka looked at the two with a confused expression on her face.

Yazane jumped in to clarify with his gentle, soothing voice.

“If you were unaware of your son being an omega, and he was with your husband when he presented, it is more than likely that your husband has been forcing your son to take suppressants to disguise his secondary gender.”

Ruka opened her mouth to gape at the two men in front of her before burying her head in her hands and letting a wail fall out of her mouth.

“How… How could he do something like that? He _wouldn’t_. Would he?” Ruka asked, allowing her voice to rise in apparent panic, “But… Only a monster would do that. He’s our _son_. I… He wouldn’t hurt our son like that, would he?”

*

Daichi ran into the hospital reception as fast as he could, Takeda-sensei still outside trying to find a parking space. He came to a skidding halt at the front desk, his eyes frantic as he waited for the receptionist to look up and acknowledge him.

“Oh, Sawamura-san. You’re back again, I see,” She smiled up at the tall alpha before leaning forwards and lowering her voice to say, “Sugawara-san is still in his heat room, so _no visitors_.”

“No, it’s not that. I know he won’t be out for a few more days.” Daichi told the receptionist, who adjusted her glasses as she listened to him regain his breath.

“Then what can I do for you?”

“Are Suga’s parents here at all?” Daichi asked sharply.

With raised eyebrows, the alpha nodded as she set her pen down on her desk.

“Ah, yes they are, but they’ve been taken into private room so the police can ask them some questions.”

“The police… Do they know? Is that why they’re here?” Daichi asked, his heart beating against his ribs so hard that a cage-like bruise had likely formed around it.

“Do they know what?”

The receptionist was clearly confused, and Daichi ground his teeth together before answering her.

“It was his parents. Suga’s parents made him take the suppressants.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions on improvement, it would be much appreciated!  
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments :)  
> If you would like to request a fic or one-shot, please leave a prompt in the comments with the pairing, AU, or fandom that you would like (I am apart of practically every fandom, and I ship everyone with everyone, so rare pairs are cool)  
> OR go to my tumblr and send in your prompt there <3  
> http://ohlookitsfanfic.tumblr.com/  
> Thank you!!


	8. New Home

Daichi had never wanted to hurt someone more than the moment his path crossed Sugawara Ruka’s path in a hospital corridor. Walking down hallways with Takeda-sensei hot on his heels, he barely noticed her at first, but soon enough his inner alpha was snarling, hands twitching with a sudden longing to wrap around her throat.

He rarely lost control of his instincts, and even when he accidentally let slip, it wasn’t for long, and there were never any terrible repercussions. Daichi had never murdered someone before, had never wanted to, but the second he saw Suga’s mother clinging to the shoulder of a police officer, tear streaked  face and all, Daichi’s alpha wanted to strangle her.

Despite the sudden craving to hurt her, he remained calm. He refused to lose control of himself, not when Suga needed to be protected. The teacher beside him paused when he noticed the woman weeping over the police officer, taking note of the way that Daichi’s hands had clenched into tight fists.

Takeda-sensei then moved with almost lightning speed towards the other, unoccupied officer, and had whispered quickly into the other man’s ear, gesticulating towards Daichi as he did so. With widened eyes, the stern-looking man had yanked his partner along and taken Daichi into a quiet room.

It was there that Daichi repeated each awful word that Suga had said in his anger, all the wrongs that had befallen the omega feeling like knives as he told the older men what had occurred before Daichi had called an ambulance, before they were taken to the hospital.

“I appreciate you telling us this, Sawamura-kun,” The older officer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Both of them will have to be placed into custody until we can question Sugawara-san. This entire thing is a mess.”

The younger officer appeared horrified, even as the two left Daichi to inform the officers questioning Sugawara’s father what they had been told before removing the cruel, weeping woman from the hospital.

*

Koushi had never been more terrified in his life.

He had been roused from sleep by a gentle omega doctor tugging the heat room’s curtains open, bright morning light pooling into the room and warming his face. His body was free from the empty, longing pangs that his heat had filled him had slowly released their hold upon him, and now all lingering pain and warmth had ebbed away.

Doctors had filed in, taking notes and stealing blood, and nurses had followed, giving food and offering soft reassuring pats on the top of his head. Then two police officers had appeared, and they had made themselves comfortable in chairs by Koushi’s bed before they began to ask him questions.

Once Koushi had given everything he could, he was told what was to occur. His parents would be jailed to await trial for abusive crimes against an underage omega, and they would likely be sentenced for a very extensive amount of time. Koushi would also be officially emancipated from his parents and removed from his home.

And he had nowhere to go. Panic settled in Koushi’s stomach, and he found himself wishing that no one knew. He would prefer being with his parents, forever swallowing little azure pills, over being stuck out in the streets fearing every stranger who passed by.

“For your best interests, Sugawara-san, you will not be placed within the custody of any of your family members, as they all need to be questioned for their possible involvement in your abuse.” The older police officer was saying, grey moustache moving like a caterpillar over his lips with each word.

“We therefore need to know, is there anyone we can contact? A friend you would feel safe and comfortable around? Someone you can trust?” The younger officer, Yazane-san, added.

Koushi looked up, eyes round.

_Who_ could _he trust?_ He thought bitterly, and he almost voiced the rancorous voice before a warm, kind face filled his head.

Of course.

“Sawamura Daichi. My best friend. Do you think I could stay with him?”

*

“Are you okay, Suga? You need any more blankets?”

Suga threw a pillow at Daichi from the other side of the room before burrowing down into the nest of blankets and cushions he had made on his futon.

“I swear to god, Dai, you ask me one more time and I will smother you with my excessive amount of blankets.”

Daichi grinned before reaching towards the light switch on the wall and flicking it off. Darkness swallowed them up, and silence surrounded them for a few moments before the alpha had a sudden thought.

“Suga, did you remember to take those omega hormone things?” Daichi questioned.

“Oh my god. Yes, I did. I also remembered to massage my scent glands to make sure that they get used to working, _and_ I did the same for the omega glands between my legs. Are you going to shut up yet?” The omega snapped.

Daichi could almost feel Suga’s glare through the dark, his neck hairs standing on end.

“You’re so aggressive at night, what’s with you?”

“You’ve been doing this for the past week,” Suga replied, voice completely dry, “Plus, I actually enjoy sleeping, believe it or not.”

 “Sure, sure, Mr 3am Text Message.” The alpha sniggered, trying unsuccessfully to turn his laughter into a non-suspicious coughing fit.

“Shut up.”

“Hey, Kou? What about the fertility tablets?” Daichi whispered.

Daichi could hear the quiet, susurrating sounds of blankets as the omega got up, and he was almost blinded when the door opened and the hallway light flowed in. He grinned, closing his eyes as he waited for Suga to finish taking his medicine and get back into his bed.

*

Koushi climbed into Daichi’s bed slowly, careful not to knock against him. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, his breath slightly ragged as the traces of a particularly malicious dream slowly relinquished its hold over him.

He was prone to night terrors; something his doctor had reassured him about, saying that it was something that was attributed to taking and getting used to omega hormones. Feelings of loneliness and wanting to be held were to be expected, and however embarrassed Koushi felt, Daichi was always open to doling out hugs.

With a soft groan, Daichi held his arms wide, making room for the omega as he crawled under Daichi’s covers. Koushi carefully settled against Daichi’s chest, breathing in his calming alpha scent as he did so.

Sleep slowly crept over him once more, and with a single, quiet whine, Koushi allowed himself to fall back into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, if you have any suggestions on improvement, leave a comment or tell me how you feel about the fic!  
> If you liked it, leave kudos or a comment :)  
> Also, if you would like to request a fic or one-shot, please leave a prompt in the comments with the pairing, AU, or fandom that you would like (I belong to every fandom, and I ship everyone with everyone, so rare pairs are cool)  
> OR you can go to my tumblr and send in your prompt there <3  
> http://ohlookitsfanfic.tumblr.com/  
> Thank you!!


	9. Blissful Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They’re becoming more frequent, these nightmares of yours.”  
> “No, you’re just getting tired of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final instalment of Hide Yourself! Thank you so much to everyone who gave suggestions, and to everyone who stuck through until the very end :) It's been wonderful to have such supportive readers!!
> 
> In other news, this fic now has fan art (http://savepic.ru/7500929.png)  
> and a fan mix (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLM5TqceVgKVO8m_PzdiV2XP5madUKfqo1) !!! 
> 
> They were made by tumblr user scepticspoon- they're an amazing artist so go check them out here : http://skepticspoon.tumblr.com/

There had been a time when Koushi had been excited to be an omega. It was the day he had presented, and the day before the azure pills slipped into his world. Ever since he was a very, very young child, he had wanted children.

He had wanted to hold his own children in his arms, and he had wanted to adore them and dote upon them with all of his might, so when he had presented, his excitement had filled him to the brim and spilt into everything he did.

Despite the aching pain in his hips as they began to fill out and widen, despite the stabbing pain of his insides, he couldn’t help the enthusiasm that he felt when he realised that he could hold his own babies inside his belly, that he would get to feel them moving inside him.

He had held heat packs to his waist and sat by the window, and he had watched the sun rise above the clouds and light up the cerulean sky with bright beams of gold. His joy at that moment was unparalleled, and his world was filled with dreams of handsome alphas and cuddling with squishy, gurgling babies that were _his_.

Koushi was _omega_ , and he couldn’t have been happier than the night where he realised that he could be a mummy.

*

Koushi doubted he would ever hold his children in anything but his dreams and inside his heart.

His heats had come in, and his body appeared to be functioning correctly; however the likelihood of actually being fertile were slim to none. When the doctor’s had said it, it sounded a lot better. They made it sound like he had a chance, but Koushi had never been a big believer in hope.

The only way anyone could ever be sure that he could conceive, carry, and birth his own children would be for him to try and Koushi couldn’t possibly tie someone down to an infertile omega on the off chance that they could have children.

Koushi was _omega_ , and he was most likely going to feel the echoes of his past throughout the rest of his life.

With his face pressed into the soft fabric of his pillow, Koushi curled around himself until he was in a tight ball, eyes screwed shut as his breathing became shallow and quick.  His head was filled with _never’s_ and _what if’s_ that hadn’t been there before, and he could hardly hear anything over the dull roar building up in his ears.

“Suga. Suga. _Koushi_.” 

Someone pawed at his shoulder, trying to draw his attention as he disappeared under the waves of hate and cruelty that would never leave him, no matter how hard Koushi tried, no matter how many times he went to speak with counsellors and other ex-suppressant omegas. They would only get bigger, and each time Koushi felt closer to drowning. It would only be a matter of time before people gave up on him.

Koushi hurt. He wasn’t being beaten, his mother couldn’t hurt him any longer and his father couldn’t turn away and ignore him, but he hurt. No longer was he being forced to answer to vulgar terms, and he was only ever referred to as _Koushi_ , as _Suga_ , as _Sugawara_ , but he hurt.

The omega wanted what he could not have, and although his dreams reminded him more than enough, it always hurt more to wake up and realise that the nightmare had never ended.

“Hey,” Daichi whispered against his ear, stroking his back, “You’re alright. You’re here and you’re safe, Kou.”

Koushi shivered, sitting up and clutching the sheets to his bare chest. If he tried hard enough, Koushi could hear his own heart shattering.

*

“They’re becoming more frequent, these nightmares of yours.” Daichi noted, bringing the smaller boy close so he could scent the alpha and be soothed and calmed.

“No, you’re just getting tired of them.” Suga whispered, blinking away tears as he rubbed his nose against Daichi’s neck.

Daichi shook his head, massaging circles into the omega’s lower back and listening to his breath slowly evening out. The alpha rubbed his eyes with his free hand before glancing towards the digital clock beside them.

Stifling a groan at the sight of the ungodly hour presented that was closer to midnight than it was one o’clock, he turned back to the omega clutching at his shoulders and spilling his heart out onto his chest.

Perhaps Daichi was tired, exhausted even, but he wasn’t tired of Suga. He could get frustrated all he wanted over the lack of sleep, but one look at the omega and Daichi’s alpha instincts had him clamouring to shower Suga in affection and care. It wasn’t just the alpha side of him that wanted to care for the boy, though.

Daichi had long since come to the conclusion that he was maybe probably just a tiny bit completely in love with the omega, and he wasn’t going to fight it at all. They'd been best friends for what felt like forever, and after all that Koushi had been through, and all that Daichi had seen, it hadn't been a particularly large leap. In fact, Daichi had a feeling that he'd been on the brink of falling for the boy when Daichi had thought he'd been a beta, no matter that people expected alpha's to get together with omegas.

Suga was drop-dead gorgeous, always had been, and if Daichi’s head was going to turn to mush over the sight of the other’s ash blonde hair that stuck up in the mornings and his dark lashes that curled on his cheeks when he slept, Daichi was more than all for it.

Lost in his own thoughts, Daichi almost missed the small whisper of, “Nobody wants me,” that caused his heart to stutter in his chest. Daichi felt so choked up that he nearly wished he _had_ missed it, if only so he never had to hear Suga say such a terrible thing in his life.

“You’re wrong!” Daichi found himself blurting out, clapping his hand over his mouth afterwards and flushing. He had momentarily forgotten where he was, his automatic response to the omega’s words dangerously close to rousing the rest of the household.

“No one would ever have me, Daichi, and you know it.”

Suga’s icy, emotionless voice filled Daichi’s ears, and it made the alpha sick to his stomach. This was an omega who deserved everything the world had to offer but thought that he deserved nothing at all.

“I would.” Daichi whispered.

Suga looked up at him from where he’d been hiding his face in the alpha’s neck, surprise reflected across his face. “You…”

Daichi nodded, affirming the unvoiced question. “I would be yours, if you wanted me.”

“You can’t… You can’t waste your time on me, Dai.” The light that had slowly begun to extend across his face dimmed, and Suga turned away once more.

“You’re not a waste of time.”

*

Koushi’s bottom lip trembled. “Please don’t tease, Dai.”

“I’m not! I couldn’t ever be that cruel to you.” There was horror in the other’s tone, enough to make Koushi regret his own words. Enough to start believing the alpha’s.

“Promise?” A whisper, a fragment of hope not big enough to be seen by just anyone, but it was present enough for the alpha to notice.

Koushi had a best friend. His name was Sawamura Daichi, and he was an alpha. He was too caring for his own good, and he had taken Koushi under his wing from the moment that they had met. Because the other was so kind to him, Koushi ended up trusting the alpha with a lot of his secrets.

Just not the kind that actually mattered.

Throughout all of his high school life, and most of the hell that had been middle school, Koushi was a beta in everyone’s eyes, because it was all that Koushi would let them see. The only hint that had ever existed of something else had been tiny blue tablets that needed to be taken with every meal, and Koushi had easily played it off as an iron deficiency. All that Koushi had ever had at that time was the older, stronger alpha, and he had needed that friendship more than he had ever known.

Koushi had trusted the alpha with a lot of things, and now he was about to trust the other with something precious.

“Of course.” Daichi murmured, and Koushi closed his eyes and swallowed a lungful of air…

… And gave the alpha his heart, battered and fragmented as he knew it was.

“Do you want…? Will you consider me?”

“I wouldn’t consider any other.” Daichi smiled and clasped the omega flush against him, lowering his head so that he could listen to the soft, pounding rhythm of the most beautiful heart in the world.

*

“Koushi!”

The ash blonde omega looked up to watch the other sing his name from across the room as he shuffled through his deck of paint samples. The alpha had taken almost every paint card in existence, including the severely hideous ones that had no business existing in their home.

“Yeah?” The omega sighed, hands on hips and preparing his poker face for whatever his mate had to say to him.

“Do you think I could get a job making up the names of these paints?”

Koushi let out a startled laugh, and he shook his head before returning to his book. Before he could immerse himself back into the storyline, he was interrupted once again.

“No, seriously, Koushi, I could totally do this,” Daichi continued, waving a set of fluorescent green cards, “Mystic Olive, Spearmint Shadows, Haunted Emeralds… And that’s just off the top of my head.”

“Well, you have an imagination, I’ll give you that.” Koushi agreed, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably.

The two sat biting back smiles for a moment before the both broke out into laughter and Koushi ended up dropping his book onto the floor beside the plate of biscuits that he _certainly shouldn’t keep eating but would probably end up finishing off before dinner_.

“Here, I’ll get it for you.” Daichi got up from beneath his blanket of colour samples at the same time that Koushi stood up from his comfortable place amongst his nest of sofa cushions.

With darting movements, Daichi reached the omega’s book long before he could begin to bend down for it, and the alpha set it down on the sofa before poking Koushi’s nose with his index finger.

“How are you feeling?” Daichi questioned as his hand traced across his omega’s cheekbones.

“Absolutely fantastic.” Koushi smirked, playfully nipping at the alpha’s finger as it brushed across his lips.

Daichi smiled at his omega, and leant in to ask, “And what have you been up to?”

“Well, you did interrupt me from my reading just now…” Koushi trailed off, eyes flickering to where his book lay waiting to be picked up again.

The alpha threw back his head and laughed before raising his hands in surrender.

“Oh, well, don’t mind me then. I’ll get back to my colour choosing and allow you to continue reading.”

“Don’t choose anything ugly.” Koushi smiled, soft eyes crinkling at the corners.

Bobbing down for a moment, Daichi pressed a soft kiss to the gentle swell of Koushi’s belly, and the fluttering response Koushi felt inside made him beam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra oneshots for this fic are a possibility, and I have a few ideas that I'd like to try out if anyone is interested??  
> If you liked this, leave kudos and a comment!! :)  
> Also, if you would like to request a fic or one-shot, please leave a prompt in the comments with the pairing, AU, or fandom that you would like (I belong to every fandom, and I ship everyone with everyone-- including rare pairs XD )  
> OR you can go to my tumblr and send in your prompt there <3 <3  
> http://ohlookitsfanfic.tumblr.com/  
> Thank you so much everyone.. It's been a pleasure to write for you all xx


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